Life Often Whispers Before It Shouts

For the past several weeks, I've been exhausted.

Not normal tired. Not "I need a nap" tired. The kind of tired that makes you question yourself, your motivation, your energy, and whether something deeper might be going on.

This week, I wanted to share a personal story about finally listening to my body after weeks of brain fog, joint pain, fatigue, and feeling unlike myself—and the unexpected diagnosis that followed.

But this episode isn't JUST about the diagnosis.

It's about the ways we dismiss ourselves.

The ways we explain away exhaustion, grief, burnout, loneliness, resentment, or that quiet feeling that something isn't quite right. It's about learning to listen before life starts shouting.

Together, we'll explore what happens when we stop asking, "What's wrong with me?" and start asking, "What's trying to get my attention?"

If you've been feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, exhausted, or simply unlike yourself lately, this conversation is for you. Because sometimes hope doesn't arrive as a solution, but rather, as an invitation....An invitation to slow down, pay attention, and come home to yourself.

Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction: Life Often Whispers Before It Shouts
 01:10 Feeling Exhausted and Unlike Myself
 02:30 Ignoring the Signs
 03:40 A Trip to Minneapolis and an Unexpected Rash
 04:30 The Shingles Diagnosis
 05:15 What My Body Was Trying to Tell Me
 06:00 Why We Dismiss Ourselves
 07:00 What Are You Trying Not to Hear?
 08:00 The Questions We Already Know the Answers To
 09:00 Lessons from Hope Comes to Visit Guests
 10:00 Living Intentionally Instead of Perfectly
 11:00 What's Trying to Get Your Attention?
 12:00 Hope as an Invitation

I’m so grateful you spent this time with us today.

If Hope Comes to Visit has become a bright spot in your week, I’d love for you to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you listen so you never miss an episode.

And if this conversation resonated with you, sharing it with a friend, leaving a review, or simply telling someone about the show helps more than you know.

Until next time, take good care of yourself. And remember—your story matters.

New episodes drop every Monday, so you can begin your week with a little light and a lot of hope.

For more stories, reflections, and ways to connect, visit www.DanielleElliottSmith.com or follow along on Instagram @daniellesmithtv and @HopeComestoVisit

Transcript

The Questions You Already Know

Danielle Elliott Smith 0:00

I find that if your system starts to ask you a question, the answer is always yes, right? Am I drinking too much? Am I snacking too late? Am I skipping exercise too often? Am I spending too much money or shopping too often? The answer to those questions is always yes. The question is, what are you going to do about it?

Sponsors And A New Support App

Danielle Elliott Smith 0:26

Let's take a quick moment to thank the people that support and sponsor the podcast. When life takes an unexpected turn, you deserve someone who will stand beside you. St. Louis attorney Chris Duly offers experienced one-on-one legal defense. Call 314-384-4000 or 314-DUI help. Or you can visit Dulilawfirm.com. That's D-U-L-L-E Lawfirm.com for a free consultation. I'm thrilled to share that the Redefining Sober app is officially live. What began as questioning my own relationship with alcohol became a journey back to myself. And now I've created the support that I wish that I'd had. Redefining Sober is designed to help women explore, question, or change their relationship with alcohol while building self-awareness, self-trust, and a life that feels more aligned and fully their own. For a limited time, founding members can get a discount. Visit RedefiningSober.com today to learn more and begin your journey. I'm so excited to have you join us.

Hearing Versus Listening

Danielle Elliott Smith 1:29

When life changes in an instant, hope often becomes easier to recognize. But what about the quieter moments? The moments when something feels off, when we're exhausted, disconnected, overwhelmed, or simply not feeling quite ourselves. The moments when life is trying to get our attention long before we're ready to listen. This week I'm reflecting on those whispers, the subtle nudges, feelings, and experiences that invite us to slow down and pay attention, the ones that want us to reconnect with what matters the most. Because sometimes hope doesn't arrive as a dramatic breakthrough. Sometimes it arrives as an invitation, an invitation to listen and to realign and to come home to ourselves. This is Hope Comes to Visit, and I'm Dionelle Elliott Smith. And as always, I'm so incredibly grateful you're

Bone Tired And Blaming Myself

Danielle Elliott Smith 2:21

here. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the difference between hearing something and actually listening. Because if I'm being honest, life's been trying to get my attention for a while. For the past several weeks, I've been telling people I'm exhausted. And not just in a, I'm feeling a little bit tired lately, not in a uh normal tired or I need a really good night's sleep, but in a bone tired, I could fall asleep at my desk. The kind of tired that makes you question yourself. I've been wondering where my spark went. I've been struggling to feel motivated. There are my joints have been tired. I I I have found myself hurting in ways that that I that didn't feel normal. And I'd been mentioning it to my therapist over and over and over during the past couple of, I don't know, let's call it six weeks. And she kept bringing it up to me and saying, Hey, maybe this is something you want to get checked. And like me, I kept saying, Well, you know, I guess, like a lot of us, I just blame myself. I'm sure it's my fibromyalgia. For the for the longest time in my life, I was diagnosed when I was 18. I find that I always think everything goes back to my fibromyalgia. If if it's a pain, it's fibromyalgia. If it's a headache, if it's exhaustion, even if it's my stomach, I'm sure that it's fibromyalgia. And I really was just assuming that the problem was me. Maybe I wasn't being disciplined enough. Maybe I needed to take better care of myself. Maybe I just needed to push myself harder or somehow get over it. Finally, my therapist made me promise make an appointment with the doctor. Well, of course, that meant I had to somehow fit it into my schedule, right? I had a couple of trips planned. One of them this past weekend, I was planning on going to see my daughter with my husband, with my ex-husband, with my ex-in-laws. We were going to Minneapolis to see Delaney, to go to the Cardinals of Twins games, to see a Lynx game, because I think I might have mentioned to you guys that my daughter is now working for the WNBA. She works for the Minnesota Lynx after graduating from Ole Miss, which makes my heart so damn full. But we had all this stuff planned. And so naturally, as so many of us do, we think, how can I fit in what I need to do to take care of myself in and around everything else that's happening? So I finally made an appointment for myself, which was, in fact, just yesterday, I made this appointment to go to the doctor, finally to say, hey, what's wrong? But before I could get there, uh, the last night that we were in Minneapolis, I had an itch underneath my arm. And I thought, okay, so I went to scratch and it really, really hurt. And I had a bit of a rash. This is where this is where we're getting a little too a little TMI. You know, we're getting we're getting close. You you you've been spent some time with me, so we're we're we're gonna get some we're gonna get close.

A Shingles Diagnosis Changes The Story

Danielle Elliott Smith 5:22

Um long story short, I went to the doctor yesterday, and I actually went to the dermatologist first. And while I was there, I said, Hey, will you take a look at this? And she looked at me and she said, Oh, baby, you have shingles. So while this is not an episode on shingles, I have to admit, having a diagnosis of shingles was not on my bingo card for this week, for this year. What I realized was that A, I'm grateful that I have a diagnosis. B, I feel validated because all of these signals I was getting from myself, I was ignoring or trying to push off. But really, my body was saying, Hey, trying to get your attention here, Dionyall, knocking on the door, knocking on the door, want you to pay attention to me. And I kept dismissing it in the name of there's so much to do. I'm sure it's just me. It's probably nothing. And our systems will warn us, you know, those gut feelings we get when we know something is off, we're supposed to pay attention. And so frequently we explain them away. We convince ourselves that we're lazy or unmotivated or dramatic or emotional or weak, or somehow we're we're failing when something deeper is actually happening.

When Life Whispers Before It Shouts

Danielle Elliott Smith 6:47

I started wondering how many areas of life does this apply to? Not just our health, right? Life. How many times have we ignored, how many times have you ignored, how many times have I ignored exhaustion or grief or loneliness or resentment? We ignored the quiet voice that's telling us something isn't working anymore. Because the truth is, life often whispers before it shouts. A relationship that you're in, a friendship, a significant other, it doesn't fall apart overnight. Burnout doesn't happen overnight, disconnection doesn't happen overnight. The signs are usually there, but they're small at first, and it's easy for us to explain them away. They're easy to postpone, it's easy to ignore until eventually they become impossible not to hear. But we have to make a conscious choice to decide to listen. And maybe that's the question I've been sitting with lately. What in your life, what in my life, has been trying to get my attention? Clearly, my health was a big part of that, right? Hey, Danielle, you need to be taking care of yourself because I don't know if you guys know anything about shingles. If you had chicken pox as a kid, the virus sits in your system and it manifests when your immune system is low or compromised and you're stressed. Well, guess who's been stressed over the past couple of months? This kid. So my body was kind of prime for the taking. I'm lucky in that it's not a very severe case. Clearly, you can't see anything that's going on with it, but it was affecting my body. It was telling me something is going on now, until it manifested, had I gone to the doctor sooner, would I have been able to get a diagnosis? I don't know. The good news is I have the diagnosis

If You Ask The Question

Danielle Elliott Smith 8:42

now and and I can now do something about taking care of myself. So, what in your life has been trying to get your attention? Not in a fearful way, not in a shame-filled way, just honestly, and maybe what have you been trying not to hear? I find that if your system starts to ask you a question, the answer is always yes, right? Am I drinking too much? Am I snacking too late? Am I skipping exercise too often? Am I spending too much money or shopping too often? The answer to those questions is always yes. The question is, what are you going to do about it? I know for me, when I first started to say to myself, am I drinking too much? Or when I am drinking, am I going too far? I didn't want to face that question because I didn't want to be the girl who had to stop. But eventually I was the girl who had to stop because I wasn't willing to face the questions when they first cropped up. So I think part of what I'm trying to say is listen to yourself, right? What have you been trying not to hear? Maybe it's your body or your heart. Maybe it's a dream you've been postponing. Maybe it's grief you haven't fully acknowledged. Maybe it's a relationship that needs more attention or a habit. Maybe it's the realization that you've been surviving

Hope As An Invitation To Realign

Danielle Elliott Smith 10:08

for so long that you've forgotten what it feels like to be totally present. One of the things I love most about this podcast, about the conversations I get to have here on Hope Comes to Visit, is that so many of the guests have experienced some version of this. Life got their attention. It may have been a diagnosis or a loss or a tragedy. Maybe it was a challenge or a turning point. Something happened that forced them to stop and ask. Now what? Who am I now? What matters now? And while I wouldn't ever wish those experiences on anyone, I have noticed that something beautiful happens in each of those individuals. One of those moments has become an invitation for them. It's an invitation for them to pay attention, to realign, to reconnect. It's an invitation to start living life differently. Not perfectly, don't misunderstand. None of these conversations, or even what I experience day to day, is about trying to find a way to live perfectly. It's about living intentionally. And maybe that's where I find myself now. Not because I have all the answers. You guys know that I never ever do, but far from it. But because this experience reminds me that our bodies, our hearts, and our lives are often trying to tell us something long before we're ready to listen. So maybe the question isn't what's wrong with me, what's wrong with you? Maybe the better question is what's trying to get my attention. And what might happen if I finally listened, rather than just acknowledging that that there's something there and you're hearing something, what if you actually sat down and listened? Because sometimes hope doesn't arrive as a solution. Sometimes arrives as an invitation. An invitation to slow down and to pay attention to tell ourselves the truth. And perhaps most importantly, to trust that what we're feeling, it's worth listening to. You are worth listening to. And as always, I'm so glad you're here.

Share The Hope And Take Care

Danielle Elliott Smith 12:14

Thank you for taking time to spend even a few minutes of your week, of your day, uh with me. This podcast is a gift to me. It's a gift to me to listen to the stories that people choose and honor me with. And it means so much that you choose to tune in. If ever there is something you hear, I hope you will take the time to share it with someone else you think may need to hear this little bit of hope that needs to come to visit. Thank you as always for spending time with me. And until we get to spend time together again, take very good care of you.

Sponsor Thanks And Closing Promos

Danielle Elliott Smith 12:58

Naturally, it's important to thank the people who support and sponsor the podcast. This episode is supported by Chris Dully, a trusted criminal defense attorney and friend of mine here in St. Louis, who believes in second chances and solid representation. Whether you're facing a DWI, felony, or traffic issue, Chris handles your case personally with clarity, compassion, and over 15 years of experience. When things feel uncertain, it helps to have someone steady in your corner. Call 314-384-4000 or 314-DUI HELP, or you can visit Delilawfirm.com to schedule your free consultation. I'm thrilled to share that the Redefining Sober app is officially live. What began as questioning my own relationship with alcohol became a journey back to myself. And now I've created the support that I wish that I'd had. Redefining Sober is designed to help women explore, question, or change their relationship with alcohol while building self awareness, self trust, and a life that feels more aligned and fully their own. For a limited time, founding members can get a discount. Visit RedefiningSober.com today to learn more and begin your journey. I'm so excited to have you join us.