Hope Comes to Visit

EP 36 From Panic to Peace: Everyday Practices for Anxious Hearts with Amanda Willson

• Danielle Elliott Smith • Season 1 • Episode 36

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If you’re new here—welcome. If you’re back—welcome home. Today I’m sitting with my dear friend of 12+ years, Amanda Willson, a life coach and anxiety expert who has walked this road and now teaches the rest of us how to find steadier ground. This isn’t theory; it’s real tools for real life.

We talk about simple practices that change the moment you’re in: 4-7-8 breathing to settle your nervous system, the 5-4-3-2-1 senses reset to get you out of your head and back into your body, and the surprisingly tender act of naming your anxiety with compassion so it stops driving the car. Amanda shares how movement helps move emotion, why gratitude is brain training (not fluff), how to build an inner safe place you can visit anytime, and what it means to take your thoughts captive—speaking to yourself the way you’d speak to your own child.

I left this conversation feeling calmer, clearer, and more equipped. My hope is you do too. 💙

Listen now and share it with the friend who’s been white-knuckling their days.
Guest: Amanda Willson — Worthy of Love Wellness → worthyoflovewellness.com

Amanda on Instagram → Worthy of Love Wellness

Gentle heads-up: we mention panic attacks and anxiety. As always, nothing here is a substitute for professional care.


Show highlights

  • The breath that helps fast: 4-7-8
  • The senses exercise that interrupts spirals
  • Why naming anxiety softens it
  • Movement as medicine (and why stillness can backfire)
  • Gratitude as a daily brain reset
  • Your “safe place” visualization (mine is the beach 🌊)
  • Bedtime thoughts that program tomorrow’s morning

Thank you for listening to Hope Comes to Visit. If this conversation helps, follow the show, share it with someone who needs hope today, and leave a review - it helps others find their way to these conversations.

New episodes drop every Monday, so you can begin your week with a little light and a lot of hope.

For more stories, reflections, and ways to connect, visit www.DanielleElliottSmith.com or follow along on Instagram @daniellesmithtv and @HopeComestoVisit



SPEAKER_00:

It's really important for us to really take our thoughts captive, be able to say to yourself, like, okay, I'm not feeling all that great right now. But these are the things that I am good at. These are the things, the light that I bring into this world. And being able to be grateful for those things that you bring into this world because it's such a beautiful thing, and we each have our own gifts. That's the wonderful thing, is there's no two alike.

SPEAKER_01:

Hi friends, I'm Danielle Elliott Smith, and this is Hope Comes to Visit. If this is your first time joining us, welcome. If you are back, welcome home. I'm so glad you're here. My goal is always for us to have real conversations and real heart work here on the show. And today I'm super excited to have a conversation, not only with someone who is an expert, but someone who is a good heart friend for me. Amanda Wilson, you are, as I mentioned, not just a close heart friend for more than a dozen years, but also a mental health and life coach worthy of life wellness. Thank you so much for being here with me. Thank you, Danielle. I was so excited to be here. You know, I had the pleasure of sitting with you recently while you did an expert talk to an amazing group of people and you gave what I consider to be a masterclass on how to deal with anxiety. And I kept thinking this is something that everyone needs to hear because I feel as though anxiety is one of those things that we are overrun with right now, whether it's anxious about being a parent raising our kids, whether it's anxious about the state of the world right now, whether it's anxious about whether or not we're going to be able to afford our groceries or our mortgages or our rent, or anxious about our relationships, just day-to-day. So knowing that I've known you and your life for so long, let's start with a little bit about who you are and how you've come to be this expert.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, thank you, Danielle. You're welcome. Um I so I am a mom of three, and um I for many, many years uh dealt with anxiety. I started having panic attacks when I was probably in my early 20s. You know, I had an interesting childhood, lots of adversity, and so um I started to really dive deep into how do I handle that? How do I deal with the anxiety? Um life is stressful. There's so many things that we come up against on a regular basis. And so for me, it was really wanting to help, wanting to make a difference in people's lives, wanting to make a difference in my own life and the lives of my children. Um, my children are now 29, 23, and 19. And it's at a point where I'm teaching them these life skills as well, because we have to have tools in our toolbox to be able to navigate what's going on in our world. And even just little bits here and there, um, it helps you uh refocus your attention.

SPEAKER_01:

And so what was it in you that you recognized this was becoming almost, I don't want to say uncontrollable, but to a point where it was affecting your day-to-day life? Because I don't think that we recognize how heavy anxiety can be. We don't recognize how it affects our overall systems. We think that we're sick, we think that we are, and that sick is a lot of times a result of anxiety. Yes? Yes, absolutely. So, where did that how did that manifest for you?

SPEAKER_00:

Panic attacks in my 20s.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. Yeah. So what led you to understand that the panic attacks were a result of the anxiety and what did you do about it?

SPEAKER_00:

So um, probably about 15 years ago, I was diagnosed with um celiacs disease, which I had to navigate my life on where the restroom was. And so anywhere I went, I had to research and figure that out. And so once I started to do that, um, I decided I wanted to become a health coach. I wanted to help people navigate food allergies and all of that. As I progressed in that education, I started to realize that our chakras actually store our energy. So unprocessed energy are stored in our chakras. And if you don't move that energy, it will manifest as ailments in the body. And so about, I guess it was about eight or nine years ago, I started working with a lady who does energy work. And in doing that, I started to realize that we could personally clear our own chakras, but I also noticed that the anxiety was much more controlled between physical activity and doing the energy work for myself. It was something that I started to notice exponentially, an improvement in my anxiety. But it started with just my life, you know, just everything in my life. I it was anxiety-ridden over different aspects of it, and I wanted freedom from it. I wanted to be able to pull myself out of that and live my life to the fullest and not be crippled by the anxiety. So that was kind of what started it for me was being able to um really work at navigating that energy work.

SPEAKER_01:

So, what can we do? I know that day to day I find myself anxious. I know that lots of people find themselves anxious. Yeah. It's really easy to get in our heads. It's really easy to find ourselves overwhelmed. What do you do when someone comes to you and says, uh, it's too much?

SPEAKER_00:

So there's a couple exercises, but one of my favorites is the four, seven, eight breath. So you breathe in for four, you hold it for seven, and you breathe out for eight. It slowly relaxes your nervous system and the diaphragm actually raises when you belly breathe and it massages your heart, which activates the parasympathetic nervous system. So that's one of my favorites. But my other favorite is tapping into your senses. Okay, that one I find it brings you to the present moment. You can't focus on the thought loops that constantly run in our head when you're focusing on your senses. So it's five things that you can see, four things that you can feel, three things that you can uh uh uh smell, I'm sorry, um, and then through two things that you can taste and one thing hear? Yes. I'm sorry, three things you can hear, two things that you can smell, one thing you can taste. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01:

No, that's okay. Um, but you're focusing on your senses, right? So the first thing you're doing is you're looking around and you're thinking, what do I see right now? Yes. Right? What are five things that because I think that when you do that, you're almost automatically looking for interesting things. You're not saying, okay, well, I I see the microphone in front of me and I see my phone and I see like you're you're instantly looking around for for things that might seem more interesting. So it brings you out of your thinking brain box. Right. Okay. And then you're really finding yourself thinking, okay, what what do I hear? You're really, really having to listen. Yes. I like that. Yeah. So the first things we're doing to get ourselves out of those anxious are truly physical. We're breathing. Yes. And then we're we're using our senses. Okay. Yeah. So what do I do next?

SPEAKER_00:

So I'd I have fun with it. Um I in the past, I have like naming your anxiety, giving it separate from yourself, giving it a name.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, and make it something funny, you know, make it something endearing, but talk to it with compassion and love. Um, let it know that you see it. Hi, I know you're here. It's okay, we're safe. You know, you can talk to it with love and compassion like you would a five-year-old. You know, make sure that you're really paying attention to what's coming up for you. And don't push it away. We tend to want to numb, you know, whether that's through addictions, through shopping, through eating, through drinking or drugs or whatever. We want to push the feeling away. And it's really sitting with it. You can sit with a feeling for about nine seconds and it will start to dissipate. So it's just recognizing that those feelings are coming up for you. And it's okay. Like anxiety is coming to visit, but it doesn't take the wheel. Anxiety comes to visit, hope comes to visit, look at that.

SPEAKER_01:

So nine seconds, really, because I know that that's so interesting. I when I think about um cravings, right? So when I was going through the process of sobriety first in that first recovery stage, I was initially told, you know, those cravings come up, they really only last two to three minutes. If you allow, like if you get up, it's like move a muscle, change of thought. So the move a muscle change of thought was get up, walk, get up, change the channel, get up, go into another room, because you're trying to allow your brain to change the station, if you will. But in terms of anxiety, you're allowing yourself to sit with it. So it's almost a different process because with addiction, we're trying so hard to want, to we're trying to not feel. You're saying we have to feel, right? Yes. And I think that's so important because with addiction, we're not wanting to feel, and and part of this process is learning how to feel. Yes. I didn't realize it was such a short, that anxious peace is such a short triggering time if we allow it to sit.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. And one of the things that I would also suggest is moving your body. Because a lot of times when that feeling arises, you can sit with the feeling, but much like recovery, moving that body, moving that mindset, getting into a different thought process, the feeling's still there. And I I know you know this through grief. Um, I I lost my dad a couple of years ago, and there was a moment that I was really struggling with how do I continue to live life? Because I have this heaviness on my heart. And there was a day that I was going for a walk, and I'd pick a word for every year, and I was really sitting and ruminating with my word, and one of the words that I had chosen was trust. What does that look like? So in my mind, it was like, okay, I'm gonna just trust where I'm at right now. And I was in the process of taking my dogs for a walk. And um, you know, I was like, okay, I'm having a conversation with God, and I'm like, what am I doing? And he was like, just go play your playlist and go for a walk. And I was like, oh, I don't know that I want to do that because I like specific kind of music when I'm working out. Um, but I trusted the process, and so I went for a walk, and there was a moment on the walk where a song came on that my dad used to play when I was in the car. And the first initial feeling that came up for me was joy. Like I felt the smile on my face, but in the instant that I was in the joy of the moment, the grief crept in. Right. And I tried to push the joy down. Yes, and I felt the tears well up in my eyes, and I felt the lump in my throat, but I focused on the joy, and it shifted everything. So two emotions can actually live at the same time, and so it's really important for us to recognize like, yeah, okay, anxiety is hair, but it's not taking the wheel. I am going to go do something else. Physical activity is an excellent way to change your mindset, you know that. So, you know, it's just a really it's coupling the different tools together and just not sitting in it because it thrives in darkness. Yeah, and isolation. When we sit and do nothing, it's no wonder when you sit and worry on the couch all day long, you feel like you ran a marathon. Right. Well, that's why your body's physically needing to move that energy because those chakras aren't radiating the way that they're supposed to.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, that's so interesting because it's it's the same for autoimmune diseases, right? So with fibromyalgia, the more sore I am, the less I want to move, the worse I get if I don't move, if I don't try to stretch, if I don't try to do something about it. And it's interesting to me that our minds work in such a similar fashion as our bodies. Like it's just our our minds and our bodies are such miracles, right? So it's so fascinating to me how they all tie together this way. There was something you said that I'm gonna come back to in a minute, but I want to move to something that I know you and I have in common that is something that is incredibly helpful for anxiety, which is gratitude.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, ma'am.

SPEAKER_01:

Talk to me about talk to me about your thought process on gratitude.

SPEAKER_00:

Um so several years ago, I started a gratitude practice of just journaling every single day. And in the very beginning, it was, you know, I was in such a funky spot in my life, it was really hard. Like I'm grateful for the house that I have, I'm grateful for my children. But the more that we facilitate gratitude on a regular basis, the more we go out into the world and we seek things and draw things to us to be grateful for. So you're training the brain to actually look for those things, which shifts your mindset, which is huge because part of this whole anxiety loop that we get ourselves in is about the thought processes that we have, being in those thought loops, talking to ourselves in such a way that is empowering, not smothering us, not crippling us. Um, so gratitude was probably the biggest way for myself. Um, because as human beings, I don't care who you are, I don't care what's going on in your life, there is always something to be grateful for. Always. I agree.

SPEAKER_01:

It's interesting because when I have had the times in my life when my gratitude practice has been the strongest, I always recognize that for me, trying to find the little things that I'm grateful for, whether it's, you know, that first sip of coffee or like this morning being in a new home, right? I could see the way the sun comes into the house because the house is very open. Just seeing the clouds, the colors in the sunrise this morning was just so beautiful. And allowing myself to have that moment, I can physically feel my temperature rise in a positive way. Yes. If we allow ourselves to truly sit in the little things that make us smile, it actually increases physically our ability to be grateful for things. Yes. And so rather than just by rote saying, I'm grateful because I have a house, I'm grateful because I have food to eat, I'm grateful because my kids are healthy, which are all incredible things to be grateful for, but seeking out the small things that put a smile on your face, whether it's recognizing that, wow, I made it, I made it on time today, or I got in my car this morning and I had a full tank of gas and I didn't have to stop, so I wasn't late. You know, the little things that we just take for granted, those things tend to, in a weird way, give me chills. And it decreases my anxiety. It decreases the anxiety I feel in other random areas of my life. The thing I wanted to go back to, because this was something that was said to me, and I know that this is something you teach. This was said to me years ago. I had a therapist say to me when I was really beating myself up, and she looked at me and she said, Dionyelle, would you treat your daughter? Would you talk to your daughter the way you're talking to yourself right now? And I think this goes back to what you were saying about how our self-talk track is, how important it is to speak to ourselves with compassion.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, absolutely. So one of the stories that I share is the discussion. One day I was having a discussion with my girl, my uh daughter, and she was talking about some girlfriends of hers that just were not being nice and just the things that they were doing was just hurting her. And so she internalized it. And the conversation led to her talking really negatively about herself. And I looked at her and I said, Hey, sister, you're not gonna talk about my daughter that way. That's unacceptable. I'm gonna need you to change that. And so she kind of looked at me and I said, I want three positives, and she goes, Okay. And so she had to think about it and she spit them out for me. But it was in that moment that I saw the shift in her. And it spoke to me like the things that we say to ourselves are so wretched. When you hear someone else talk about themselves that way, you're almost offended for them, right? Like, why would you say such a thing? Um, and so it's really important for us to really take our thoughts captive, be able to say to yourself, like, okay, I'm not feeling all that great right now. But these are the things that I am good at. These are the things, the light that I bring into this world, and being able to be grateful for those things that you bring into this world because it's such a beautiful thing, and we each have our own gifts. That's the wonderful thing, is there's no two alike.

SPEAKER_01:

What a great way to put that. Take your thoughts captive. So I know there's somebody listening right now who thinks I have a friend who needs to know right now that they need to take their thoughts captive. So this is a great opportunity for someone to take this episode and send it to someone that they know who has had a negative talk track, who needs to hear what you're saying right now, because there is light in so many of us, and we forget to have that conversation with ourselves because we're so busy being our own biggest critic. Yes. And when we have that anxiety loop, remembering, I love that, to have that captive audience for ourselves. Gosh, what a beautiful way to say that. All right. Hit me with more of your anxiety masterclass. What else can we do?

SPEAKER_00:

Um, so one of the things that I like to do is have an internal safe space. That's one of my favorites. Um, mine is the beach. I know you're a beach lover too, but um every time I go to the beach, I will record my feet in the sand and my feet because there's a tattoo on my foot. So I know when I'm really struggling, I will open my photo library and watch my feet and the ocean sound, the waves, the feet in the sand, all of it. It's very easy for me to go there. But it's really important because our brain doesn't know the difference between imaginary thoughts and actual reality events.

SPEAKER_01:

Really?

SPEAKER_00:

So, yeah, which is amazing because why wouldn't you hang out in your safe space? Why wouldn't you? Like it's happy place. You're going there to escape everything, and you're actually activating the parasympathetic nervous system by doing so because it's your happy place, right? Whatever that is. Um, and everyone's different. So um that is uh one of my faves because I like to hang out there a lot.

SPEAKER_01:

See, and I love that, and I know that you and I have spoken about this before, and so both um Jeff, my ex-husband, and Cooper, their happy place is baseball field, right? So I know that when Jeff would be up in the middle of the night and he was really struggling with a thought loop, he would do the Cardinals lineup. Like he would schedule the lineup for the next day, or he would do it for whatever team he was coaching. And I know that Cooper does the same thing, right? So the baseball diamond, you know, the crack of the bat, the smell, and so they do their senses that way, right? They they put themselves on the baseball diamond to get out of whatever their thought loop is. And so, what a beautiful piece of advice is figuring out what your own happy, peaceful place is and going there in your mind and thinking about, again, the senses. So, what would I be smelling? What would I be hearing? What would I be seeing to put myself there? Because this is something that you had told me before that I love. What about the last thought we have when we go to sleep?

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. So the the last thought that you're thinking before you go to sleep is the first thing that you are going to wake up thinking about because that thought is programming your subconscious thoughts for the next day.

SPEAKER_01:

I want you to say that again because I really think this is so important for people. This was such an aha light bulb moment for me when you said this, because so many of us struggle to go to sleep because our brains are in a hamster wheel with what we have to do, what we're stressed about, what we're anxious about.

SPEAKER_00:

And so you are telling us we need to put ourselves in a happy place because our thoughts that we think about before we go to bed are programming our subconscious so that when we wake up, those are the thoughts that are going to be reoccurring.

SPEAKER_01:

So we need to put ourselves in a happy place as we are going to sleep in order to set ourselves up for a good day the next day.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. Absolutely. And it's an actually a great time to incorporate gratitude. So, like you could even do that at night before you go to bed is finding thoughts that are positive, that are life-giving, not life-taking. That's the key. So amazing.

SPEAKER_01:

All right.

SPEAKER_00:

Do you have any final tips for everyone on our way out? Uh, I mean, the only thing that I really want to press upon is the importance of really not just taking those thoughts captive, but taking an inventory of your thoughts, really looking at the ones that reoccur on a regular basis and reprogramming them. What is best case scenario? What is the most positive outcome that you can think about in regards to those particular thoughts and shift them so that every time that a negative thought comes in, you're shifting it to the positive affirmation, if you will, the positive outcome that you're seeking. But slowly, when you do that, you're retraining your brain through neuroplasticity. You're actually rewiring new pathways in your brain, which is a profound change that happens inside of you.

SPEAKER_01:

You are such a gift. Where can people find you, connect with you, work with you?

SPEAKER_00:

So I have a website, worthy of lovewellness.com, and then I also have um uh coaching practice. So I can give you the phone number.

SPEAKER_01:

Do you want if you'd like to share the phone number, you certainly can, or I can put it in the show notes, whatever you prefer.

SPEAKER_00:

You could put it in the show notes, that's fine. Um, so yeah, just reach out and we can connect. That's amazing. You are such a gift.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you for being here with me. Thank you, Danielle. It was a pleasure. And friends, thank you so much for joining us on this episode of Hope Comes to Visit. We so hope we have met you where you are today, and that you will take this episode and take all of Amanda's tips and feel a little bit less anxious, and you will share the episode with people you know who need to hear these same thoughts and practices. We so look forward to seeing you again next time and between now and then, please take very good care of you.